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Showing posts from November, 2011

day 10 in nigeria - in balance

got home last night after a 2½ hour journey from a market, weirdly exhausted, so this one's a day late (not that it makes any difference, given i won't be posting them until i get back anyway). so, yesterday was one of my favourite days - it involved a trip to yaba market with my cousin, and with 4 hours on the road, that included a lot of road-side sight-seeing. highlights included: - wheelbarrows piled high with melons, yam, and sugarcane - a number of cars (for some reason, i noted particularly some type of peugeot and a nissan sunny bluebird, which was once our family car) stuffed to the windows in the backseat and the boot with massive bunches of green bananas - amazing feats of balancing - people in the marketplaces carrying all sorts on their heads, often without the needs for hands to steady them.  masses of stuff - huge baskets of peppers and tomatoes, big 'ghana-must-go's (the big shopping bags) full of only god knows what, a row of cushions (seriou

day 9 in nigeria - buying bread

I took three of my favourite pictures today - the first two were of each of the little boys, Uthman & Sultan, who rent the house next door to my grandma's.  Our family owns the house, which seems to be a common thing - for houses/bungalows to be built as semi-detached, as it were, and then for one of those to be rented out, while the family uses the other one.  I was sat outside, using the last of the daylight to type example questions, when Sultan, the littlest (about 2), walked past, and me and my cousin (another one) noticed that he seemed to be wearing make-up.  His aunt had made him and his little brother up - I always find it quite hilarious how older siblings and parents do that to little boys, make them up and dress them in girls' clothes, but would probably not think it so cute if he turned up dressed like that in about 15 years' time (though perhaps I underestimate them).  Uthman, the older brother (about 7 or 8) approached us with his hands over his face, bu

day 8 in nigeria - elastic ties

i had intended to write about family today - how amazing it is to be close to people i so rarely get to see and seldom interact with when i'm not here, and that wonder of how, with certain family members, there will always be that connection, no matter how long or far apart you are. but… it's 10.20pm, and my mum and aunt aren't back from town yet.  and you're probably thinking, well, hell, they're not children, and and 10.20 at night isn't exactly late.  but that's in london time.  or maybe even in nigeria time, if you are from round here, and so are familiar with the place (i guess just as this time of night in south london feels fine to me, while i know many people not from there who are terrified at the mere thought of being out on our mean streets after sundown - all those hooded youths, with their patois…).  but the thing is, as much is this may feel like home in some ways, i'm not from round here - i don't know the area that well, i don'

plan for actually, finally taking charge and breaking out of the self-destructive cycle*

(*snappy title, i know!) so. i just chatted to a friend about what i wrote about last night .  and about the new years' resolutions i made in january - whether i'd actually stuck to them or not.  we concluded that i had managed some (definitely done more photography and more writing, spent more time with friends, and learnt some stuff), a few i've sort of worked on (i'm a bit better at rationalising and actually believing my rationalising of my negative self-speak. a bit.), and some have just been a total fail (getting more sleep...going out less...erm, yeah, right). so, following on from my ground-breaking realisation that i actually need to take some action to stop this pretty blatantly destructive pattern of self-imposed sleep depravation, and all of the emotional issues that seem to be, if not resultant, at least somehow related to it, we came up with a bit of an action plan - three specific goals that i'll be putting into practice starting from tonight. unf

day 7 in nigeria - soft core

i think the fact that the highlight of today (apart from watching 'away we go', finally - absolutely loved it/fell in love with the leads - jessica, if you didn't like this movie, please never tell me!) was washing clothes demonstrates quite easily the non-event that it was.  which wasn't a bad thing - i'm just not used to a holiday where i actually get time to sit around not really doing anything… the clothes washing was by hand.  so i'm squatted in the bathroom, thrashing at underwear, thinking i'm hard core as, even as my arms, hands and thighs all start to ache after about ten minutes, while outside, a family friend beats dirty bedsheets, skirt suits, and iro & bubo into spotless submission. the weather decided this evening that it hadn't been quite hot enough yet, and i'm sat writing this, sans fan (sans power), in a pool of sweat quite deep enough to swim in.  i think it's melted my brain, so perhaps it's time to call it a night. 

sleeplessness, social anxiety, and moods that swing

it's 1.35.  a.m.  my eyes feel grainy, and all day, the right one has been twitching.  i am so tired, i kept dozing off during a conversation with my best friend earlier this evening, and my head aches, especially my ears. and there goes my right eye again. over the past week, i've averaged about 4-5 hours of sleep per night. this after coming back from two weeks in nigeria during which i regularly had rather broken nights of sleep, and the journey back overnight, during which i only slept for about an hour, between paris and london. i know i need sleep. and i will, soon. but i just needed to at least start this. anyone that knows me knows that the above is quite a regular pattern - i may go through periods where i start going to bed at a more normal time (say around midnight, relatively early by my standards), and get enough sleep.  but gradually, i will start slipping back into this mode - staying up later and later, my body and mind tired beyond belief, but not going

day 6 in nigeria - sunday

day started well - best sleep since i've been here (am i obsessed with sleep?) - perhaps linked to the fact that, though i slept on a mat on the floor, it was in a room on my own, that didn't depend on a fan to not be stiflingly hot.  i recommend these conditions, with a comfortable bed seemingly an optional extra. very long car journey + hottest day since i've arrived = queasy lack of appreciation of the passing scenery.  which was a shame, as there was a fair bit to observe - houses on stilts, with access via wooden pathways, reminding me of crazy gym at school; hills covered in a network of troughs, goats lined up around each, waiting to be sold; the market places with their inescapable smell of freshly peeled oranges, the sight of tomatoes stacked in formation, and the sounds - bus drivers picking up passengers, calling out their destinations ('oshodi, oshodi, oshodi, o' 'mile 12' 'ketu'), hawkers offering 'gala', 'pure water', an

day 5 in nigeria - in the house of my father

A few years before he died, my dad bought some land in nigeria, in an area called alagbado - a few hours' drive north of ikorodu, where my mum's family is based.  i don't know why he chose this area, not somewhere closer to the city, or at least closer to where his family is here.  but he did.  he intended to build a home for us out here, but wasn't able to before he died 6½ years ago.  one thing i learnt, growing up first generation in london, with parents with both feet still firmly planted in nigeria - they always want to go back home, but doing it remotely takes an age, especially as other things take over. so along with other things, my mum inherited my dad's dream, to build a family house out here for all of us - partly for us to have somewhere of our own to stay when we visit, but partly in that eternal hope that one day at least one of us (me and my siblings) will want to move 'back home'. today i came to the house for the first time in almost 6

day 4 in nigeria - go slow

today has been the epitome of total chilled-out-ness.  which was nice - for me, given i had nothing really to achieve - not so great for people trying to be productive. it was also jumaat prayer. which was also good. but now it's gone 11pm, and there's still a plumber in our house.  whilst it's nice that he's sorting out the taps, so that we don't have to keep carrying water from one room to another, i would just rather he goes home, and comes back another day to finish.  he's been here at least 5 hours. which is just ridiculous.  if i were him, i would no longer be doing my best work.  i get the impression he's feeling the same way. the day started before 7 am. again. with lots of waking up in the night. again.  at one point, i found myself just sat up in bed, staring at the full moon.  and also wishing the rooster around our way would learn when dawn is, and stick to crowing then.  it's going to be weird if this whole getting up early business actua

day 3 in nigeria - we all have days like this

i woke up scowling this morning, and have only just about stopped (it's about midday now). my bad mood persists, though. i woke up before 7am - or rather, was woken up by my mum who decided we needed to get up and clean (first reason for the day's mood, perhaps?).  being made to get up and clean the house at 7am when i'm supposedly on holiday, after a third night of little sleep (once again, combination of the heat, and sharing a bed with my mum). second reason for foul mood - the other day, my uncle came home with these truly horrible mouse traps - they are basically mini mats of glue - the mice are attracted on to them by some scent thing, and then stick to it.  they're the most horrendous things you can imagine - i walked into the living room this morning to find two mice, stuck and struggling to get off.  and that's it - they'll just stay and struggle there until they starve to death, or give themselves a heart attack from pulling, or just curl up and gi

day 2 in nigeria - live by the horn, drive by the horn

I left the house today, for the first time since I arrived.  A stone mason from Ibadan came down to talk business with my Mum - she's expanding the school she's built here, building on new plots of land not far from the original school. Driving in Nigeria is… a consummate skill (is that a tautology?).  There is no room for timidity or poor technique, because if you display either, there is a great possibility you will die.  I have much respect for anyone that commandeers a vehicle on the roads of Lagos - and cannot fathom people who seem perfectly happy to put their lives into the hands of okada (the small motorcycles that act as taxis) which flit in and out of other traffic, often with the bags carried by the passengers brushing the trucks, buses and cars that they zoom between.  And yet, perhaps because of the difficulty of manoeuvring the roads (at least, in the areas in and around Ikorodu, where my Mum's family all live), from what I can see at least, there seems to be

day 1 in nigeria

So, while i was away in nigeria, i vaguely decided to keep a sort of record of my time there. it's not a proper blog, definitely not a travel-log, and at times reads like a 12 year old's diary - ah well. i plan to post a new entry each day. and once i get sorted, there'll be photos. - - - - - Since getting home, I have learnt to value water and respect heat to the proper extent, I have slept fitfully, 3 of us to a bed, full grown and learnt that sleep really can be an enjoyable alternative wakefulness I have become relaxed in dressing, learnt the ridiculousness of vests and socks, the superfluousness of sleeves, tights have been replaced by a silky sheen of perspiration, and I have become used to feeling its trickle down my temple, or edging over a nostril I befriended the goat in our compound, untied it so it could roam and nose and butt in the hour before I saw its throat cut, and family and hired cooks cut and cleaned it, preparing the Eid feast I have conside

Dr Nawal Al Saadawi at Occupy LSX - videos

Here are the videos of Nawal Al Saadawi at the Occupy LSX camp a couple of weeks ago.  There are a couple of interviews, and a few clips of Dr Nawal talking to the camp.  It was a brilliant, inspiring occassion, and I just wish I'd got the videos out sooner. First interview - "I feel I am in Tahrir Square - I feel we are in one world - I feel this is a global revolution...We have the same goal" Second interview, with the Guardian - "we have to be one, we have to be one" "Tahrir Square everywhere!" Slightly circular discussion with a tourist - 'election can be a deception - we have to decide when the election can come... we, the revolution" Address to the camp on the steps of St Paul's - "the struggle is global ... we live in one world...we are together...we have to fight together...one world"