day/poem 8

(was just about to go to bed when i remembered i hadn't done the poem for today!! i would have been so gutted if i'd missed it, though at the moment nothing springs to mind...)

-- mind --

telling you was never going to be the hardest part

once i'd put aside the fear 

of revelation

of rejection

of knowing the truth

even your face, lopsided as you smiled your no

was not the worst of it all

soft phrased refusal

even in kindness

you couldn't hide your amusement

it was knowing, as i let those words fall

that i'd just switched us from forever to finite

and that each denial brought it closer to home

and while i weighed up the merits of drawing it out

the shame at my misjudgement lingered

and festered and bloomed

til it broke the scales 

put paid to any measured decision

demanded immediate withdrawal

i wonder now at the audacity of believing

my head and heart could ever do good business

unfortunate i chose that time

to give impulse its chance to shine